The Exhibitors Prayer for Show Season

adapted from a poem written for horse breeders but adapted by a goat breeder

Heavenly Goat God

I pray that when that intelligent, hardworking, honest judge

finally sees what I see in

these goats I¹ve worked so hard and long with,

help me to accept my win

with grace and dignity.

And when that blind, clueless idiot--- I mean, judge---

somehow fails to see what a fine job we¹ve done,

(well, at least better than

that so-and-so he placed ahead of us!)

help me to accept my defeat with some of that same grace and dignity.

Great Goat God, you alone know how I¹ve sweated blood over this doe

the hours I¹ve spent getting her ready

(and Lord, are any of them ever ready?)

You (and probably only You!) understand

why I¹ve spent good money on this animal---

money I could¹ve spent on lots of other things---

things that just might have afforded me a little more pleasure

and a lot less frustration.

All Mighty Goat God,

tolerate my disappointment when I lose,

and help me keep it all in perspective.

Help me remember that when some goat show judge

gives me the gate, it¹s not as

if St. Peter just gave me that pearly one.

 Good Goat God, clear my eyes and help me see,

before I open my big mouth, that the

so-and-so with the posty, twisted - uddered thing walking out of the pen ahead

of me

is actually a fellow goat breeder who has also worked hard,

maybe even sweated blood over his goat, too,

and probably deserves to enjoy this

moment to its fullest while it lasts.

You know there are sometimes---

but not nearly as often as I tend to suppose,

when I lose---

such ugly things as Politics, Prejudice, and Unethical Practices,

which may cause my beautiful doe to get beaten unfairly--- sometimes.

Help me, then, to remember

that several wrongs won¹t ever make a right,

and thatnone of the wrongs gives me an excuse to act like an idiot.

You know I¹m a competitor, Dear Goat God;

I make no bones about that.

I love to win and I hate to get beat.

There are few things more abhorrent to me, Goat God In The Sky,

than placing seventh out of six.

If I didn¹t love to compete,

I¹d stay home and knit afghans.

But then, there are probably afghan shows, and people who hire

professional knitters with high-tech knitting machines, and most likely

there are afghan show judges who raise the sheep whose wool goes into some of

the winningest afghans, and there I¹d be --still frustrated, still getting beat,

and without agoat to share half the blame!

This year, Lord, help me to have a little more faith in my fellowgoat breeders

and for Heaven¹s sake, help me win, or lose, with a little class.

Amen.

From District 4 Email List